Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just had sex on a roof
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
