youre lurking in front of me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
