Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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