half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
