I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
