So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
