well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
