Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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