Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
