I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
