i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
