My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
