He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
