i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
