I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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