Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
