Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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