none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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