Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
