apparently the secret to your success is patron
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
