I have demons in me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
