What did we do last night that was yellow?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
