Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
