The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
