You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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