Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
