so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
