I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
