So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
