are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
