but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
