I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
