Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
that is very illegal...i love you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
