All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What a dumb baby whore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
