We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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