You're so nebulous sometimes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
