one might say we're banned from that church
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
