Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
