If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I died a long time ago.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
