Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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