Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
