I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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