Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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