i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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