I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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