Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
