I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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