so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
