So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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