This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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